"i am caged in the sky."

"What undying sentiment is this that throbs through my being? It has captured me like a beast in a cage, yet has freed me into the fading clouds where I fly until I fall. I sleep, then I wake, and in one moment I am happy until the remembrance of this feeling returns, and again I am caged in the sky. The clock chimes and ticks, yet its small, golden hands never move. Time has been paralyzed. And all caused by a single emotion that creeps up my body, beginning at my toes and ascending higher like a cold shiver. My soul aches to know...simply to know. And I am miserable."

{a creative sketch by Maria Elyse}

I just wrote this paragraph today; I was feeling really inspired and emotional, and so I just started writing. I may use it as a sketch for a novel idea, or add it to one of my existing novels. I'm not even sure what I think of it as of right now...but it's an honest picture of something (though I don't know quite what) that I feel at the moment.

The past few days have been like a leftover breeze of summer...the sun is just warm and completely beautiful. It's not hot or uncomfortable, the sun's rays simply feel like a hug from a good friend...happy and comforting and perfect. The air smells familiar and the breeze against my cheeks feels like playful laughter. This kind of weather at this time of year makes me so incredibly nostalgic. I think it's what the weather in heaven will be like...

Today was "nerd/geek day" at school, and I so wanted to take outfit photos to show you guys what I wore (and still am wearing) but I'm still camera-less. I walked into the music room before the bell rang for class, and my amazing music teacher says, "Oh my goodness, you are way too cute to be a nerd!" It made me laugh. :) Some people seriously went all-out in dressing as nerdy as possible...button-up collared shirts, high waisted trousers, patterned socks, and loafers. Which to me kinda just screams "cute!", but to the rest of the school screams "nerdy!". This fact also makes me laugh. :)

Happy Wednesday, my lovelies!

xo

Maria Elyse

blouse: from my childhood dress-up box

shorts: vintage old navy

knee socks: target

hat: gifted

platforms: target

suitcase: vintage

empty, pink ballet slippers silently dancing on their own

Flying pen and ink,

invisible sparrows,

empty, pink ballet slippers

silently dancing on their own,

and a hazy, starry tomorrow.

{Flying Pen and Ink, by Maria Elyse}

I feel like this outfit is slightly reminiscent of this one, but perhaps more demure and and less wild. {My definition of "wild" in an outfit makes me laugh...for me it consists of crazy hair and an unlikely accessory, haha.} Thanks to Wendy for letting me use her poncho again! I'm on the hunt for a knit cape, so like a poncho but it buttons up and has arm holes. I've found a few on Etsy that I like, but none that just scream my name, ya know?

My beautiful friend, Hillary, sent me these lovely vintage gloves along with a few other goodies last month and I'm in love with them. Now that it's fall I can start using them more, which makes me super happy. ♥ Keep an eye out for another item she sent me in a later outfit post...

In my last outfit post a few of you asked if it's really all that cold here, and if all the leaves have fallen yet. I live further north in the US, plus I live in the woods, so it's quite chilly here right now. Today it warmed up a bit, but the sun is making very few appearances lately. And as to the leaves falling...some have fallen, but most are just starting to turn their autumnal hues. The woods I was in before is full of pine trees that only grow pine needles, which are at the very tip-tops of the trees, so you can't see them. So then the woods looks very empty and winter-y, even in summer.

My room is finished! I really like how much more space we have now, and I have a larger area for me and my stuff, which is always nice. Pluuuuus, I have more clothing storage space! My clothes never fit in both my dresser and my closet once I pull out all my sweaters, and now I have enough space with extra! Yay!

I hope you all had a great weekend! ♥

xo

Maria E.

dress: forever21

poncho: wendy's

gloves: vintage, gifted

tights: unknown

heeled oxfords: target

flower crown: little bird blue

the wild woods

Drops of sadness swell from the deep,

rising higher and flooding the empty seas

of my weary eyes.

When in the wild woods,

everyone gets lost at times...

{the Wild Woods, by Maria Elyse}

Sometimes I wonder why. Just why. Why I am how I am, why I do what I do, why I feel how I feel, and so on. It’s like I’m lost in a wild woods of my feelings and questions…it frustrates me and makes me cry. But then there’s my outlet of poetry, which you can read above. But then I wonder why I have poetry as an outlet and the cycle continues…oh, well. Such is life, I guess. Some may think I'm just really weird, but I think it's fairly normal to wonder and wonder and wonder...

My feelings in general lately have just been sorta blah...and my headache from last Wednesday has still never completely gone away. I can still feel it lingering, even though it's not at its full-blown awfulness. Tomorrow morning I really just want to wake-up feeling happy and awesome. Like one of those days where you feel like you can do anything and feel all smiley. I made an effort to feel like that this morning, I really, really did. I even wore heels to school! Instant confidence and good feeling booster, right? Except every night I wake up every hour thinking and wondering about everything; my silly brain decides to keep me up at night instead of resting. So then I'm horribly tired in the morning and emotionally drained. It's kinda funny...just when I'm getting to the end of my weekly endurance, usually on Thursday or Friday, the weekend comes along right when I need it. Anywho, I'm hoping tomorrow will be wonderful! :)

My Grandma Audrey knitted this hat ages ago, and I just love it. It makes me feel like Little Red Riding Hood. And apparently my wardrobe choices consist of only neutral colors except for one red item. Hmm.

As you can see, my dark green nail polish adventure was short-lived. It was just too dark of a color for me, so I switched it to the always amazing red. I think I need to find the perfect sage/seafoam color though...then my nails will finally be happy, haha.

I hope you all are having a great week! Love you all!

xo

Maria Elyse

dress: fancy treehouse

cardigan: vinage

hat: handmade by my grandma a.

tights: random tights from ballet

oxfords: target

scarf: target

my dear, sweet someone...

My dear, sweet someone,

nonexistent and ghostly.

Imagined in my mind,

and conjured from within

my secret gardens, lovely.

And you, my dear, sweet someone,

disappear from me in the gloaming.

{My Dear, Sweet Someone, by Maria Elyse}

Today was the first perfectly beautiful day of autumn. It was crisp out, the wind blew, it smelled like leaves, and I wore tights, oxfords, my favorite dress, and drank some yummy coffee and ate a piece of pumpkin pie. Mmhmm...fall is, and always will be, my favorite. ♥  Today was also my favorite kind of day down by the lake. Wildly windy, large waves reaching towards the sky and racing down in a tumult...the kind of scene that makes me wish I could just be at the water's edge all day.

 I have a poetry page now, so you can go straight to a page that has some of my poems on it, instead of scrolling through a bunch of posts to find them. Wonderful? Yes. :)

After my dad picked me up from school today he was awesome enough to stop at one of the thrift stores in our town so I could do some much needed thrifting. I found a few cute pieces that are perfect for fall. Can't wait to show them to you guys! :)

I hope you all are having a lovely week! ♥

xo

Maria Elyse

dress: fancy treehouse

flower crown: c/o little bird blue

tights: target 

oxfords: target

bag: c/o wendy